After a number of questions surrounding the future of Larry David's acclaimed HBO comedy series Curb Your Enthusiasm, there are questions no more! Curb returns to the airwaves this Sunday, January 19, for its tenth season, proving that Larry David still has plenty of creative juice left in him.
Over the years, the characters on Curb have become so well-defined that they feel like old friends of ours. Viewers know them so well that they could practically sort them into the houses of Hogwarts from Harry Potter! There are many good and bad things about Hogwarts, but the students make the difference when they are sorted. It just so happens that this is exactly what the Curb characters are primed for.
10 Larry David
This might seem like a controversial sorting, but Larry David (portrayed by David himself) is a Ravenclaw. An argument can definitely be made for David (and most of these misanthropic characters) as a Slytherin.
However, it is not certain that David is ambitious enough to be a Slytherin. Instead, he is resourceful, intuitive, and able to put a lot of complicated feelings into words. David understands human behavior on an intellectual level, even if he does not respond to his intuitions with proper social actions. His expert eye for humanity makes him a Ravenclaw.
9 Jeff Greene
There is no denying that Jeff (Jeff Garlin), Larry's manager and friend, is a Slytherin. In the world of Harry Potter, it often seems like not all Slytherins are evil, but everyone who is evil is a Slytherin, and Jeff's way of life just exudes those feelings of pure evil.
He is a bad father and a bad husband who constantly aims to make his wife, Susie, feel bad on top of having affairs with other women. Jeff has a moral code, in the sense that he knows what is right—he just constantly ignores this code, which is a very Slytherin quality to have.
8 Cheryl David
Often seen as the moral backbone of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Cheryl (Cheryl Hines) has her moments of misanthropy, too. She is not immune to the antics of many of the show's characters, but she does rise above them for the most part, which makes her a Hufflepuff.
Ultimately, her decisions lead her away from the toxic inner circle of Larry, but she still feels immense kindness in her heart for Larry, even when there is no reason to do so. The perpetual willingness to give Larry a second chance speaks to the forgiveness she harbors for the people in her life whom she loves. This open-heartedness is a hallmark of Hufflepuff characters.
7 Susie Greene
Susie (Susie Essman), like her husband, is an undeniable Slytherin. Many might argue that she is actually the moral compass of Curb Your Enthusiasm, as she calls out the deplorable behavior of the people in her life. However, just because she has a moral compass does not mean that she does not fall into Slytherin. This is largely because she has never once handled a situation with aplomb or kindness.
A complete motormouth, Susie has the largest arsenal of swears in her vocabulary of any character. She berates Larry and Jeff with horrible, demeaning insults, and her first instinct to solve a problem is to yell and scream. Even though she screams about the right sort of thing, she is still screaming, after all.
6 Leon Black
The reason Leon (J.B. Smoove) and Larry get along so well is because they are both Ravenclaws. Leon is a perfect counterpart for Larry's foibles because he, too, has a keen sense of human behavior.
On an unconscious level, Leon can always pinpoint the exact reasoning behind the behaviors of people in his life. In that sense, Leon is a defining intellectual of the show, and he understands Larry on the fundamental level that portrays both of them as Ravenclaws. Leon might even be the smartest character on the entire show.
5 Marty Funkhouser
Sadly, Marty Funkhouser (Bob Einstein) will not be around for season ten of the show, as the actor who portrayed him passed away last year. But the "Funkman" character will live long in the memories of all Curb super-fans. Like Susie, Marty is quick to devolve into a screaming match, but he spews less vitriol.
In fact, Marty's screaming comes from a place of loyalty, as one of Larry's oldest friends. This loyalty makes him a worthy Hufflepuff. For Marty, he always puts his family and loved ones first and he would do anything to protect them. All Hogwarts house members would likely feel the same, but it's Marty's unwavering code of loyalty that plants him firmly in Hufflepuff territory.
4 Richard Lewis
Richard Lewis (portrayed by Lewis himself) has been a major fixture on Curb Your Enthusiasm since the show's inaugural season. Like Funkhouser, Richard is a Hufflepuff, but for different reasons. If Marty is a Hufflepuff because of his loyalty, then Richard Lewis, the character, is a Hufflepuff because of the quickness with which he rolls over.
He often serves as the target of many of Larry's wacky schemes, but he also strips himself of any personal agency in the matter. This allowance of Larry to walk all over him certainly makes him a Hufflepuff because of the meek reluctance to stand up to his own friend.
3 Ted Danson
Ted Danson (portrayed by the real-life Danson) is a Gryffindor. It is not necessarily expected that anyone on Curb Your Enthusiasm to be a Gryffindor, but Danson fits the profile perfectly.
He has the courage to stand up to Larry and even eschew him from his life when he feels that he might be a bad influence. He has a code of what he believes is right, and he sticks to it, even if it is considered "rude" to the people around him. For example, he dates Cheryl in the previous season of the show without any regard to what Larry might think because he has the boldness to know it is what he wants to do.
2 Wanda Sykes
Wanda Sykes (also played by the real-life Sykes) is a Ravenclaw. She always seems to appear during the most uncomfortable situations for Larry to be in, but she is also quick to assess the situation properly.
No character has more situational awareness than Sykes, who is crafty to obtain what she wants in life, even if it something menial like a dinner reservation. Where Larry is a Ravenclaw for his ability to read people, Wanda is a Ravenclaw for her ability to read the world around her.
1 Becky
Becky (Kaitlin Olson) is the sister of Cheryl and she is a Slytherin. However, Becky is not the evil kind of Slytherin. Instead, she is the stubborn and ambitious kind of Slytherin.
Naturally, as most characters do, she butts heads with Larry. Yet, she does so for noble, personal reasons because she feels as if Larry is challenging core tenants of her own personhood. That is as good a reason to stand one's ground as any, especially in the face of Larry David.
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