Wes Anderson's The Royal Tenenbaums: 5 Funniest Quotes (& 5 Most Heartbreaking)

Wes Anderson has become one of the most celebrated filmmakers working today and many consider The Royal Tenenbaums to be his best work to date. The film centers around a family of geniuses who are each dealing with their own personal issues when their selfish father Royal comes back into the picture.

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The movie boasts Anderson's distinctive style and a great ensemble including Gene Hackman, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Ben Stiller. But The Royal Tenenbaums succeeds mostly thanks to its mix of hilarious dry wit and the emotional story. Following this group of colorful characters will have viewers laughing and crying throughout the film.

10 Funniest: "But You Didn't Have A Drug Problem Then."

It seems like everyone who is even in proximity to the Tenenbaums has huge personal struggles in their lives. As Richie reconnects with his friend Eli, he finds that he has developed a drug problem.

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Eventually, Richie decides to help Eli and bring him to rehab. Eli is moved by the gesture but says that he wished Richie would have done this for him when they were kids. Richie points out Eli didn't have a drug problem then and Eli responds, "Yeah, but it would have meant a lot to me."

9 Heartbreaking: "I'm Going To Kill Myself Tomorrow."

Luke Wilson is another key member of the ensemble as Richie Tenenbaum, a former tennis star suffering from depression. Richie has long-held an intense love for his adopted sister, Margot (Paltrow), which adds to his depression.

After finding out that Margot has made many relationships outside of her marriage, Richie takes the news hard. As Elliott Smith's haunting song "Needle in the Hay" plays, he shaves his head then attempts suicide. It is a powerful and devastating sequence.

8 Funniest: "Let's Shag A**."

Though Gene Hackman is mostly known for his intense dramatic roles, he proved he is a great comedic talent as well with his excellent performance in The Royal Tenenbaums. Royal is such a fun character to follow as he has these hilariously old sayings he spews out.

While trying to bond with his grandsons he's never met, he takes them on adventures unsuitable for children. When heading out he declares, "Let's shag a**," totally unaware of how inappropriate that is.

7 Heartbreaking: "Hell Of A Damn Grave. Wish It Were Mine."

Royal is a completely selfish man but there is something about him that is easy to sympathize with. He is someone who knows he is nearing the end of his life and is thinking about his legacy. He seems genuinely concerned that most of the people in his life hate him.

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When visiting a relative's grave in the cemetery, Royal sees a grave with a loving epitaph written on it. For him, that's all he wants as proof that people will remember lovingly him when he's gone.

6 Funniest: "Well, Everyone Knows Custer Died At Little Bighorn. What This Book Presupposes Is... Maybe He Didn't."

This movie marks the last time to date that Owen Wilson collaborated with Anderson on a script. Along with co-writing the movie, Wilson also gives one of his best performances as Eli Cash, a hacky writer who attaches himself to the family.

Eli finds himself a sudden literary celebrity after his latest book gains popularity despite poor reviews. In this brief and nonsensical description of his book's premise, we get a perfect idea of Eli's pompous personality.

5 Heartbreaking: "You're Not Going To Do It Again, Are You?"

After Richie's suicide attempt, he escapes the hospital and goes to tell Margot how he really feels. She is devastated by what he did and feels guilty despite him assuring her that it wasn't her fault.

As they lie in their childhood tent, she asks him if he's going to try to kill himself again and he responds, "I doubt it." The way Paltrow breaks down hearing this with a mix of relief and sadness is heart-wrenching.

4 Funniest: "But I'm Going To Live."

After years of being a terrible father, Royal is allowed back into the family circle when he reveals that he is dying. However, the family soon discovers that this was all a lie to get Royal back in their good graces.

As the family kicks him out of the house, Royal tries to defend his deception to Richie. He tells him that this near-death experience has given him a new outlook on the world and changed him for the better. Richie points out that Royal was never actually dying and he responds, "But I'm going to live."

3 Heartbreaking: "I Think We're Just Gonna To Have To Be Secretly In Love With Each Other And Leave It At That, Richie."

After Richie confesses his love for Margot, she confirms that she has feelings for him as well. It's certainly an unconventional and complicated romance not seen in many movies, but it's hard not to feel for these two people.

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They share a brief moment of allowing themselves to be open with their feelings, but they know the real world awaits them. Margot finally suggests that their love will have to remain a secret as they can't really be together.

2 Funniest: "I'm Very Sorry For Your Loss. Your Mother Was A Terribly Attractive Woman."

Even when he is trying to say the right thing, Royal cannot seem to help but show his flaws. After years of being kept apart, Royal finally manages to meet his grandsons, who recently lost their mother in a plane crash.

Royal is decent enough to offer his sympathies to the young boys but can't help but comment on how attractive their mother was. It is made even funnier by the fact that Royal clearly sees nothing wrong with what he said.

1 Heartbreaking: "I've Had A Rough Year, Dad."

While each member Tenenbaum family has their own grievances with Royal, Chas, played by Ben Stiller, seems to be the one who is most reluctant to welcome his father back into his life. it doesn't help that Chas is in the midst of a nervous breakdown after losing his wife.

He and Royal are combative throughout the movie, but after their dog is run over by a car, Royal gets Chas a new one. Finally, Chas breakdown and says to Royal, "I've had a rough year, dad."

NEXT: 10 Quirky Behind-The-Scenes Facts About The Grand Budapest Hotel



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Wes Anderson's The Royal Tenenbaums: 5 Funniest Quotes (& 5 Most Heartbreaking) Wes Anderson's The Royal Tenenbaums: 5 Funniest Quotes (& 5 Most Heartbreaking) Reviewed by VIRAL on 05:57 Rating: 5

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