The Vampire Diaries was a TV series that explored the themes of love and family triangles in a supernatural setting. The show, which ran for 8 seasons, introduced fans to numerous humorous characters, including Silas and Kai Parker.
Silas was first introduced to the series in season 4 and was known as the first ever immortal being in The Vampire Diaries universe. A member of the Gemini coven, Kai Parker was everyone’s favorite evil witch. Although both characters were antagonists in the show, their humor made them notable and pretty well liked in the series. These are their funniest quotes in the show.
10 Silas: “What I Don’t Get Is Why She Likes You”
In season 5 episode 3 “Original Sin”, fans realized that Silas was the reason why doppelgangers exist and why they always find each other, just like Katherine and Elena found Stefan.
Though Stefan did have a relationship with Elena, it is Damon and Elena’s love which triumphs, making Silas question what went wrong. In season 5 episode 2, Silas speaks to Damon, stating “Look, I get why you like her. I mean, I have a soft spot for brunettes, too. What I don't get is why she likes you”. Although Damon was ready with a witty comeback, this moment showed that Silas also had a humorous side.
9 Kai: “@CobraKai1972”
After being cast out of his coven and spending years in a prison that was created for him, Kai Parker missed out on a lot of societal and technological advancements. As a result, when he is finally released from his hell, Kai takes the liberty of catching up on all the pop culture available to him. In season 6 episode 9 of The Vampire Diaries, Kai can be seen speaking to his sister about a serious matter.
However, changing the subject, he asks her if she is on twitter, stating “I just signed up, you should follow me…@CobraKai1972”. This was a humorous moment for audiences to watch, as although it was a tense situation, Kai’s sweet ignorance lightened up the conversation.
8 Silas: “Vampires Are Nothing More Than Disgusting Perversions Of Me”
Similar to vampires, Silas required human blood to function and maintain his immortality. This similarity leads Sheriff Forbes to call Silas a vampire in season 5 episode 1. Not particularly pleased that he was called a vampire, Silas continues his conversation with Forbes stating, “Uh, please Liz, I came first. Vampires are nothing more than a disgusting perversion of me. I’m unkillable, I’m immortal… I need human blood. But don’t ever call me a vampire”.
This scene was humorous for the audience to watch, as although Silas described himself having the same traits as a vampire, he denied any relation to vampires, showing how highly he thought of himself.
7 Kai: “Who Names A Kid Malachai?”
Malachai Parker was evidently not fond of the name his parents gave him, hence why he goes by the name of “Kai”. Reflecting upon his parent’s decision to give him such a name, Kai voiced his opinion to Bonnie and Damon in season 6 episode 4 stating, “who names a kid Malachai? It’s like they expected me to be evil”.
Although fans would agree “Kai” is a much better name for the antagonist, the reflection of his parents’ choice allowed the audience to see that Kai did not have much respect for his family.
6 Silas: “The Mere Thought Of Your Face Makes Me Wanna Vomit”
Being an antagonist herself, Katherine Pierce was a vampire that just so happened to have a bad history with everyone. In season 5 episode 3 “Original Sin”, Silas and Katherine exchanged words over the phone, and throughout the conversation, Silas was ruthless, yet humorous. While in conversation, he stated “You know what's funny? The love of my life looked exactly like you, and yet, the mere thought of your face makes me wanna vomit.”
It can be easily guessed that most characters from The Vampire Diaries would agree with Silas in this case, making this quote one of his funniest.
5 Kai: “What Kind Of Person Needs To Have That Explained To Them?”
Upon first meeting Kai in season 6, both Bonnie and Damon knew he was quite a witty character. This would often anger Damon, and in the season 6 episode “Black Hole Sun”, Damon’s patience reached its limit as he begins to threaten Kai.
As a result, Kai pointed out to Damon that “if you torture me, I’ll get mad, and then I won’t wanna help you, what kind of person needs to have that explained to them?”. This scene was intense for audiences to watch, however, Kai managed to make a joke out of the situation, hence why it remains one of his funniest quotes.
4 Silas: “The idea of jeopardizing your relationship brings me this perverse amount of joy”
Known as a master manipulator, Silas showed throughout The Vampire Diaries that he interacted with others on his terms. After reassuring Damon he would become an ally, Silas has a change of heart in season 5 episode 7 “Death and the Maiden”.
While on a bus, Silas receives a call from Damon and makes it clear that he had changed his mind by stating, “The idea of jeopardizing your relationship brings me this perverse amount of joy”. This showed Silas’s true nature as a manipulator and selfish individual too.
3 Kai: “Gave Him A Heart Attack”
In season 6 episode 10, Kai kidnaps Elena, and in episode 11 to further taunt her, he shares with her something sinister he did at the Mystic Falls Grill Restaurant. Kai explains to Elena that after being angered by the restaurant’s manager, he “ gave him a heart attack…I think I broke his spine…he kind of exploded in blood whoops”.
This particular conversation gave the audience a further look into Kai’s psychopathic tendencies and how much he enjoys humoring his dark side.
2 Silas: “I love, love” love is so damn fickle”
After being reunited with his long lost love Amara, audiences were shocked to find out Silas had been stabbed by Amara back in season 5 episode 6. In the following season 5 episode “Death and the Maiden”, Silas was found by a bus stop in Philadelphia. After meeting a young couple at the bus stop, Silas cried out “I love love, I do”.
Despite appearing to be friendly towards the couple, he begins to torment them, which leads the girlfriend to run away. As the girl abandons her boyfriend, Silas is seen shouting “Look at that! Unbelievable. Love is so damn fickle”. This moment was hilarious as it showed how contradictory Silas was, destroying the young lovers’ relationship, despite saying he loved the idea of love.
1 Kai: “I’m That Guy, That Guy That Won’t Shut Up, I Hate That Guy”
Although Kai Parker prefers to insult others, in the season 6 episode “I Alone”, he proved he is willing to make himself the center of the joke. In the episode, Kai converses with his taxi driver. Coming to the realization that he is in fact annoying, Kai apologized stating “I’m that guy...that guy that won’t shut up, I hate that guy… I know, I’m chatty. Sorry”.
Through this, the audience was able to see that the antagonist had no fear of putting himself down in the name of humor, which is why it is such a memorable line.
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