The characters in Gossip Girl live their drama fueled lives on the upper east side of New York City. But each of them plays pretty perfect roles to be adapted into a horror movie, so much so that it almost feels like there should be a slasher spin-off of Gossip Girl already made.
Each character seems to perfectly fit into the iconic roles that The Cabin in the Woods established as The Virgin, The Athlete, The Scholar, The Fool, etc. These characters have also gone through some pretty crazy events that would properly gear them up to be characters in a horror movie, but who would actually survive an encounter with a murderous slasher killer is the big question.
9 Serena Van Der Woodsen
Serena may not be the first character to die in a horror movie, but it is definitely certain that she would. Serena may think she is the final girl in a horror movie situation only to find out that she is the "other girl" that always gets offed or injured by the killer around the halfway mark of the movie. Serena has done some questionable things throughout her time in the series and has broken some of the fundamental rules of the horror genre. Don't do drugs, don't have sex, and never go off by yourself. Serena does all of these, frequently. In fact, her entire character story at the beginning of the series was about her coming back from a lone vacation to get herself together again after she had too much sex, breaking her best friend's heart, and doing too many drugs, accidentally killing a guy. Serena would definitely be on the kill count.
8 Chuck Bass
Talk about breaking the main rules of horror, Chuck Bass is no exception. Throughout the series, Chuck often finds himself going through dark times, to which he likes to indulge himself with the physical pleasures of the world. These things often end up getting him in trouble throughout the series, let alone in a horror movie. Chuck would most likely try to fight the killer off, or save himself with his money, but in these attempts, the slasher killer would simply make his move and add Chuck to his kill count.
7 Nate Archibald
Nate Archibald, as much a golden boy as he is, isn't much safer than Serena or Chuck. He also breaks the main rules of horror (actually, almost all the characters in this series do). Nate, however, would be a painful death. The one that is inevitable but, as viewers, you wished wouldn't happen. Nate is probably one of the kindest characters in the series, which really shows you how messed up everyone else is, but he does fit into the role of the pretty boy jock that always seems to get axed.
6 Eric Van Der Woodsen
In Scream 4, the rules for a horror movie remake are said, and one of the rules is "If you want to survive in a modern-day horror movie, you pretty much have to be gay." But Scream 4 came out in 2011, almost an entire decade ago, and the rules have changed again.
Eric is definitely the sweetest kid on the show and doesn't deserve all the drama his siblings put him through time and time again. Eric would probably be an off-screen death because killing Eric would be just as bad as killing a puppy in a horror movie. Something they do all the time, but fans still don't like to see it.
Vanessa would probably be very similar to a "Velma Dinkley from Scooby-Doo" of the group. She's street smart and incredibly intelligent, which she shows throughout the series, even though she gets sucked into the Gossip Girl drama and does really dumb things. But in a horror movie setting, Vanessa would probably take things the most seriously. Vanessa would definitely have the makings of a final girl, with her outcast/girl next door bravado, but she also would most likely get killed just as she is about to reveal who the killer is.
5 Jenny Humphrey
Little J goes through a lot of drama throughout the series, so much so that she had to end up leaving the series and fans were happy for it. She went through her angsty teen years in probably the most dramatic way. But through those years Jenny learned how to survive on her own. Not well, but more so than any of the other characters in this show. Jenny would probably be able to defend herself from a slasher killer or at least run away long enough to be killed later in the movie.
4 Georgina Sparks
Georgina is a little ridiculous and ruthless. Knowing this character, she would probably offer help to the killer in exchange for her own life. Depending on the horror movie, the killer might actually take this bargain and use Georgina once or twice into getting the rest of the cast set up in traps or luring them out of their hiding places, just before striking. But once the killer has had enough of Georgina and her gloating, they surely would get rid of all of their loose ends.
3 Dan Humphrey
Dan is the wild card of this story. Based on You, we all know that Penn Badgley has the makings of a serial killer. His character in the series, Joe, even has a thing for quirky blondes making Serena a perfect target for Joe. And we all know that Dan Humphrey has the ability to lie right through his teeth for years on end to those closest to him, as fans discovered in the finale of the series. In a twist of events, Dan Humphrey would probably end up being the killer himself.
Like in the original Scream, Billy faked his death at the hands of the killer just before the big reveal at the end of the movie. Dan is smart enough to do something similar, and execute it correctly. He probably had just had enough of the lying and the drama, and though the flavor was just getting stale, so to spice up a new hot piece for the website, he decided to introduce a new genre to Gossip Girl. The website might even act as the conduit to which the killer speaks to his prey, like how Ghostface calls his prey before striking.
2 Dorota
Dorota is probably one of the best characters in the series, with the biggest heart, which is exactly where her downfall would in. Dorota loves Blair, more than anything it seems, and would most likely survive the entire movie just helping her escape the killers grasp, and fitting them off herself. But her valiant efforts would probably come to a head as the horror movie draws to a close and Dorota is left with one last chance to save Blair, only this time, Dorota would have to sacrifice herself to the killer, screaming "Ms. Blair, run!"
1 Blair Waldorf
Blair Waldorf would definitely be the final girl of a Gossip Girl horror movie. She is the most likely to survive with all of her intellect and people skills. She knows what she wants and how to get it. Blair would be able to outrun and outsmart the killer in this situation and would be able to catch him off guard. Blair Waldorf is brave, resilient, and doesn't take no for an answer. She is Blair Waldorf. The truth is, Blair would live long enough to stop the killer, but she may even live long enough to become a killer herself in the final scenes of the film to make way for a sequel.
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