Marvel Comics has played host to numerous heroes from toy lines and snack products. At one point, G.I. Joe and Transformers both had regular Marvel comic book series (Gears even got to team-up with Spider-Man!). Then there were the long-running Hostess Twinkies and Fruit Pies ads that allowed Hulk and Captain America to save the day by offering villains sweet sponge cakes with creamy fillings. Yet perhaps the most unlikely hero to make the jump from drink mascot to Marvel action hero was everyone’s favorite giant pitcher, the Kool-Aid Man!
Yes, for some bizarre reason, Marvel decided to team-up with Kool-Aid and produce a five issue limited series that brought the Kool-Aid Man into the Marvel Universe. Even more bizarre? Kool-Aid Man had weirder gadgets than Iron Man and was reputed to be as strong as the Hulk!
The fun began in The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man which had the sentient talking pitcher battle the evil “Thirsties” (alien creatures who looked like electric sparks with green tongues). His heroic efforts earned him the admiration of a group of children, one of whom thought he was as strong as the Incredible Hulk! As outlandish as this might have sounded, as the miniseries progressed, Kool-Aid Man did showcase an insane amount of strength.
Fans of Kool-Aid Man’s commercials know the heroic pitcher makes his dramatic entrance by smashing through a brick wall shouting his trademark line, “Oh yeah!” In the comic, however, Kool-Aid Man revealed he was capable of crashing through structures far tougher than brick. In the course of the series, he smashed through multiple buildings, a 1770s sailing ship, a stone cave, and the hull of a Thirstie space ship while it was flying in outer space.
How the Thirsties managed to stay in the ship without being sucked into the cold, merciless vacuum of outer space is unknown, but it should be noted that Kool-Aid Man was more than capable of flying in outer space without a pressure suit, showing that his glass pitcher was all but indestructible. Moreover, he seemed capable of talking in the airless vacuum of outer space, defying the laws of physics entirely.
Even more amazing, Kool-Aid Man appeared to be a multi-billionaire on par with Tony Stark (clearly, Kool-Aid is a profitable business) who owned his own helicopter, secret headquarters, and “Kool-Aid Vault” (all shaped like giant pitchers of Kool-Aid). He also had access to highly advanced technology such as jet-packs, time machines, and really big computers. Considering how much property damage Kool-Aid Man caused to signs and buildings just by making his entrance, it was probably a good thing he was so rich. His settlement checks must be enormous.
In an even weirder twist, Kool-Aid Man had an entire team of Kool-Aid Men called the “Punch Bunch,” each with unique powers and abilities of their own. There was Rainbow Punch who could create rainbow bridges out of Kool-Aid and catch people as they fell. There was Mountain Berry Punch who saved mountain climbers while yodeling. There was Sunshine Punch who liked to patrol the desert on a camel. And then there was the toughest of them all – Tropical Punch, a surfer who could create tropical breezes capable of blowing away a hot air balloon and extinguishing active volcanoes with… Kool-Aid.
Offered as giveaways to promote Kool-Aid products, The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man proved a bizarre and largely forgettable piece of Marvel Comics lore. About the only thing missing from the comic were team-ups with Marvel heroes like Spider-Man and the Hulk. Then again, considering how all-powerful Kool-Aid Man appeared in his own comic, it was probably good that no other heroes fought beside him. The Hulk might just develop an inferiority complex.
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